There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

Employers are like horses — they require management.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

A golfer needs a loving wife to whom he can describe the day's play through the long evening.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.