Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.

What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things.

In your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.

To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.

The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.

It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.