If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

Say what you will, there is something fine about our old aristocracy. I'll bet Trotsky couldn't hit a moving secretary with an egg on a dark night.

Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests!

What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.

Some time ago," he said, "--how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life.

I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.