Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

I wonder what Tommy Morris would have had to say to all this number 6-iron, number 12-iron, number 28-iron stuff. He probably wouldn't have said anything, just made one of those strange Scottish noises at the back of his throat like someone gargling.

Employers are like horses — they require management.

Bertie," he said, "I want your advice." "Carry on." "At least, not your advice, because that wouldn't be much good to anybody. I mean, you're a pretty consummate old [prat], aren't you? Not that I want to hurt your feelings, of course." "No, no, I see that." "What I wish you to do is put the whole thing to that fellow Jeeves of yours, and see what he suggests.

Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

It is not the being paid money in advance that jars the sensitive artist: it is the having to work.

I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.