It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

I believe there are two ways of writing novels. One is mine, making a sort of musical comedy without music and ignoring real life altogether; the other is going right deep down into life and not caring a damn.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

Mr Howard Saxby, literary agent, was knitting a sock. He knitted a good deal, he would tell you if you asked him, to keep himself from smoking, adding that he also smoked a good deal to keep himself from knitting.