There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.

[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

Back horses or go down to Throgmorton Street and try to take it away from the Rothschilds, and I will applaud you as a shrewd and cautious financier. But to bet at golf is pure gambling.