There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.