There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without going to all the bother and expense of dying.

It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.

Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.

I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology.

When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.