Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.

I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.