Any trade that is voluntarily made is mutually beneficial, by definition, and, indeed, is balanced, by definition.

If we do our deficit spending on weapons, at least we get weapons. Then if we need weapons, we have them. If we don't need them, no harm is done.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

So what if I don't agree with the Democrats? What's to disagree with? They believe everything. And what they don't believe, the Republicans do. Neither of them stands for anything they believe in, anyway.

In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again.

Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.