I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer.

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.

Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether you go to prep school or public school or ghetto school or rich suburban school. And actually, it spun off from a Kurt Vonnegut quote.

Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.