I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.

The collegiate idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it.

The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape.

The real alternative to power of the rich is not power of the poor. It's just plain power.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.