I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
P. J. O'RourkePoliticians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
P. J. O'RourkeI figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.
P. J. O'RourkeThe motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.
P. J. O'Rourke