As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably a very good reason Hunter [S. Thompson] isn't jealous of me.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.

Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.