Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked people passed out around me.