There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.

When I get in deep water, I prefer to announce that I'm in over my head.

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas are bad ones.

Apparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians.

Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.