When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.

Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.

One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying

Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips.

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.