Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.

The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have to do with us being frustrated poets.

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape.

The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.