Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.

Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues."

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.

Think of what big governments have gotten up to in this century : not one, but two world wars, the gulag, the holocaust, aerial bombing of civilian population centers, the Berlin Wall, nuclear explosions, the post office. A wicked individual might want these, but he wouldn't have the cash and connections to get them. A villainous corporation could afford them but has to market the products. The Vietnam draft would be a tough sell for even the most fiendish businessmen. "Get shot! Get killed! Get diseases from foreign women who despise you in their hearts!"

There are lots of levels of fear and complaint about the government getting involved in business. First and foremost, of course, is incompetence.

Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.