I couldn't have gotten into Harvard with a crowbar.

Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why most news about government sounds as if it were federally mandated -- serious, bulky and blandly worthwhile, like a high-fiber diet set in type.

Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!

The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.