Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.

We'll run this planet as we please, and if you don't like it, go back where we came from.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.

The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.

There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed.... Trouble doesn't come from Slopes, Kikes, Niggers, Spics or White Capitalist Pigs; it comes from the heart.

No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal