Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through.

God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

Humor is, by its nature, more truthful than factual.