The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.

Especially with a magazine like Lampoon, which was very dependent on newsstand sales. Our readers didn't usually occupy the same address long enough to get a subscription, because they were in college, or they were hippies. So it was very up-and-down, and we had to calculate how many to print, which was always sort of a headache from a business point of view.

A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

Apparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians.

Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.