A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?

Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth.

Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making it cheaper. (This is what I always do when I want to spend less money - hire a lawyer from Yale.) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.