France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

Especially with a magazine like Lampoon, which was very dependent on newsstand sales. Our readers didn't usually occupy the same address long enough to get a subscription, because they were in college, or they were hippies. So it was very up-and-down, and we had to calculate how many to print, which was always sort of a headache from a business point of view.

When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.

Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit

Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.

Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.

Fretting about overpopulation, is a perfect guilt-free - indeed, sanctimonious - way for "progressives" to be racists.