You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer.

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm.

This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.