You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

Industrialization came to England but has since left.

The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please.

Mike Kelly [from The Atlantic] called me up and said he could pay me less money.