The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.

Lampoon was a very collegial operation, though "collegial" usually means "friendly" and it wasn't that friendly. But we were tight, like a family.

The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.

Satire doesn't effect change.

Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers.

When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.