I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.

When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings on it?

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please.

I didn't see any NRA officials killing babies in Waco.

Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty.

Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.

Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody you want. And money is more effective than politics both in solving problems and in providing individual independence. To rid ourselves of all the trouble in the world, we need to make money. And to make money, we need to be free.