Whenever people tell you they are going to wipe the slate clean, it's your slate they mean to wipe.

Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people do not have basic freedoms, it wouldn't bug me to tax the living Dickens out of that thing or even to forbid its importation whatsoever. But that's a moral question, not an economic question.

Fishing... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.

Lampoon was a very collegial operation, though "collegial" usually means "friendly" and it wasn't that friendly. But we were tight, like a family.

Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With Kids.