Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Gluttony, or, as we call them these days, "getting in touch with your sexuality," "raising your self-esteem," "relaxation therapy," and "being a recovered bulimic."

If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. Please, talented scribblers, write what you don't. The blind guy with the funny little harp who composed The Iliad, how much combat do you think he saw?

This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.

Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.

Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.

Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.