Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.

Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on a variety of different levels in a variety of ways, and it's worked pretty well.

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.

A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.