If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los Angeles area.

I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Normally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.

Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky.

When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .