Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having their tea all over the lawns. The scene was entirely too cheery for journalism.

You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.

I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.