God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.

Never steal anything so small that you'll have to go to an unpleasant city jail for it instead of a minimum-security federal tennis prison.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.

One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying

The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape.

[Michael] Moore doesn't really use his sense of humor that much.