God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.

One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.

Fishing... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked people passed out around me.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.