You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.

I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.

The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.

It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life.

One of the things that makes me a conservative, or a libertarian, or whatever the heck it is that I am - a person who doesn't much like big government - is that I do not like the concentration of the power.

Industrialization came to England but has since left.