Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.

The Constitution is an equally forthright piece of work and quite succinct ... giving the complete operating instructions for a nation of 250 million people. The manual for a Toyota Camry, which only seats five, is four times as long.

Think about last time you were broke ... now how well did it go with spending your way out of it? Did that work?

The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our elaborate ideas about right and wrong.