Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the face. Then you can rave for weeks about your sauce marinara and no one will gainsay you.

Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.

I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say, "Honey, you're cute; that's not fair. Your family is pretty well off; that's not fair. You were born in America; that's not fair. Honey, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you.

People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.

There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth.

Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.