Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead.

I bought my first house because of Animal House.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental rule of happy living: Never let the people with all the money and the people with all the guns be the same people.