Lampoon was a very collegial operation, though "collegial" usually means "friendly" and it wasn't that friendly. But we were tight, like a family.

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again.

Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things.

Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.

I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.