Lampoon was a very collegial operation, though "collegial" usually means "friendly" and it wasn't that friendly. But we were tight, like a family.

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.

How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?

Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.

Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.

The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.