The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

Just as some things are too strange for fiction, others are too true for journalism.

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

I was managing editor for a while [in National Lampoon ], and it does cause business problems when your circulation goes up.

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

Mike Kelly [from The Atlantic] called me up and said he could pay me less money.