East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory.

A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

[Michael] Moore doesn't really use his sense of humor that much.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.