There's a very good reason that governments aren't supposed to compete with private-enterprise companies. Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

Anything that makes your mother cry is fun

The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare..." It doesn't say "guarantee the general welfare." And it certainly doesn't say "give welfare benefits to all the people in the country who aren't doing so well even if the reason they aren't doing so well is because they're sitting on their butts in front of the TV".

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.