During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?
P. J. O'RourkeApparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians.
P. J. O'RourkeThe America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race.
P. J. O'RourkeThe Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'RourkeI figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.
P. J. O'Rourke