Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer.

The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.

Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers had voted for [Ronald] Reagan, and they were going, "Gosh! We need a Republican! Does anybody know a Republican? Wait a minute! I think P.J.'s a Republican!"

Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.

What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.

You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue.

Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.