You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.

The Harvard Lampoon itself, which had a pretty stellar run in the '60s.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.

The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns a pair of white shoes.

I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civilization. I believe it is our second duty to improve it. I believe it is our third duty to extend it if we can.

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked people passed out around me.