You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government, and I'm here to help."

If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.

We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell.

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.