America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.
P. J. O'RourkeNo one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal
P. J. O'RourkeThe neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much, or the environment would be even worse than it is already.
P. J. O'RourkeNormally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.
P. J. O'Rourke