The Vietnamese Hoa were merchants and manufacturers. They were very successful and thus, according to the logic of Marxism, responsible for society's failures. The Hoa suffered the same fate as the pizza parlour in Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing except at the hands of the world's fourth largest army instead of a small, petulant movie director.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los Angeles area.

I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.