There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay.

It is a law of governance that democracies have to spend themselves dizzy. Citizens of democracies can, after all, tell their government to give them things.

In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you've half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're doing a hundred miles an hour in a suburban side street.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.