Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.

Any trade that is voluntarily made is mutually beneficial, by definition, and, indeed, is balanced, by definition.

The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much, or the environment would be even worse than it is already.

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.