No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

Some women want the strong silent type, so they can tell him to shut up and rearrange the furniture.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter.

It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.

We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?

Russian cars are silly. They look like imports drawn by a cartoonist for a UAW newsletter.