Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in the middle of villages warning of danger, 'When night wolf swallows mother moon, there will be great famine.'

When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.

Anything that makes your mother cry is fun

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.

Ann Coulter to me is someone who says things that I say all the time, but I say them at three in the morning when I'm drunk as a monkey. She says them at three in the afternoon stone sober in bright daylight.