Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.

The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.

Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby.

I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.