We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.

I am a great admirer of women.

Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else.

Never steal anything so small that you'll have to go to an unpleasant city jail for it instead of a minimum-security federal tennis prison.

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.

Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have to do with us being frustrated poets.

The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.