Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and he will be certain that you are either telling the truth or a big, important lie.
P. J. O'RourkeThe Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.
P. J. O'RourkeThe great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties. You can start other things in your forties but generally your wife makes you stop them, as Bill Clinton found out.
P. J. O'RourkeVeal is a very young beef and, like a very young girlfriend, it's cute but boring and expensive.
P. J. O'RourkeSmoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does.
P. J. O'RourkeMankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by saber-toothed tigers. Think of the hopes, the dreams, the effort, the brilliance, the pure force of will that, over the eons, has gone into the creation of the Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Bicycle riders would have us throw all this on the ash heap of history.
P. J. O'Rourke